Signs You May Be Headed for a Crash: Symptoms That Could Indicate Burnout
Have you been feeling “edgy” or irritable lately, like even the little things grate on your nerves? When your head hits the pillow, do you feel like you could sleep for years, and still not feel refreshed when you wake up—or lie awake night after night with racing thoughts? Are you routinely telling yourself: “this is all just too much,” or “I just need to power through xyz…then surely things will get better.”
If you find yourself huffing at the words rest or self care, or you wonder “what are those things anyway!”…you may be spinning your proverbial wheels so fast that you’re careening towards a melt down, or what we more commonly hear referred to as burnout.
Stress Vs. Burnout
With normal stress, you can see a way out. You can understand and have hope that it’s just a season you’re passing through. Often when the extra work load or external stressors have resolved your stress levels resolve. However, with burnout, you may feel hopeless and can’t imagine a way forward. This is because it occurs at a deeper level than routine stress. With stress, you can often rest and practice smaller amounts of self care and be able to rebound, however, with burnout a weekend away or even a week of rest doesn’t seem to touch the deep soul exhaustion you feel.
At burnout levels you may feel like even the smallest things you need to accomplish would require extreme effort levels from you, leaving you without the desire or motivation for much of anything. The things that used to excite you may begin to feel like just one more “thing” on your plate and instead of looking forward to them, you dread them.
Some ways to decipher if you’re dealing with normal stress versus burnout can be to look at your thoughts and actions.
Check Your Thoughts
Do you find yourself saying things like:
“This is all just too much.”
“Why bother trying, I’m exhausted.”
“How did I get to this place of exhaustion?”
“What is wrong with me, I can’t seem to keep up like other people!”
“Why can’t I seem to make decisions anymore?”
Check Your Actions
Do you find yourself pulling away from others?
Do you say yes to whatever is being asked of you, but secretly wish you could say no?
You work harder but see fewer results, make more mistakes than usual, or seem less productive?
Conversely have you stopped “trying” to keep up and find you procrastinate instead?
Are you late for appointments without a good explanation?
How Do We Arrive at Burnout:
Having a lack of definable boundaries.
If for whatever reason you not only struggle with saying no, but avoid it like the plague, this can lead to picking up every project that comes your way. Many people struggle with boundaries (learn more about why Healthy Boundaries Matter here) because they don’t like the thought of possible conflict. Saying no can also be perceived by some as being un-Christ like or unkind. So some of us wouldn’t dare say no when someone asks us for help. The problem with this is, for every yes you give, you are saying no to something else, and in the long run that something else may end up being your own sanity and health. (Read more here about when/how being “nice” can actually harm you.)
Remember, there’s a reason the airline stewardess tells you to put on your own oxygen mask before you “help anyone else” put on theirs. If you don’t have enough oxygen, you won’t survive. Then you won’t be any help to anyone. It’s the same principle in life. If we don’t take care of ourselves like God calls us to, we’ll be no help to anyone else in the long run.
Having an internal drive button that doesn’t have a slow down switch.
If you’re someone who is internally driven to succeed and you don’t have an internal “stop and rest” button, this can lead to some pretty hefty consequences.
There’s a difference between being someone who just enjoys staying busy versus being someone who “has to” stay busy and doesn’t know how or when to slow down.
This “internal high speed drive button” if you will exists within many people. It often stems from a place of low self worth, or even shame surrounding hurtful things in the past. Trauma can leave many “by-products” in a person’s life, and this is one of them for many people.
If you feel your worth is dependent on what others think of you, then it’s likely you’ll be driven to please others to earn their favor, or driven to seek accomplishments to find your worth. And pleasing others or seeking recognition from a place of feeling compulsively driven to do so is dangerous ground.
While it’s good and healthy to serve others from a place of fullness in our own being, it can be devastating to feel you “have to” do what others want in order to…be liked, to be accepted, to be good enough, or to be “seen” as good enough. If this is you, creating a life that’s driven by your values instead of by pleasing others is vital. (Click here to find out how you can learn to live by your principles: https://www.darahashlie.com/overcoming)
Other factors that can also lead to burnout:
Having an overly demanding job.
Extreme job pressure or dysfunction.
Having a deeply unsatisfying job.
Unchallenging or monotonous work.
Sole caregiver with no one to relieve you.
High need for control.
Perfectionistic tendencies.
Lacking purpose: just going through the motions in life.
Having little to no control over your circumstances or at work.
Experiencing a highly dysfunctional, ongoing interpersonal relationship, sometimes dubbed: “survivor burnout.”
Not getting enough sleep.
Lacking work/life balance.
Having little or no support system.
Carrying too many responsibilities with little help.
Ongoing, chronic stressors that have no relief in sight.
Signs and Symptoms of Burnout
Though burnout can look different for different people, there are signs and symptoms that can begin to clue you in as to whether or not you’re dealing with burnout. One of the biggest clues for many people that they’ve tipped from just being stressed to being burned out is a deep sense of exhaustion that doesn’t respond to “normal recovery methods” such as a weekend away, an afternoon nap, or a long hot bath. According to research, burnout leads to exhaustion, cynicism, and eventually inefficiency. (1)
Other physical, emotional, or mental markers to look for include the following (again you may or may not relate to all of them):
Decreased emotional affect
Decrease in empathy
Inability to find joy, experience pleasure
Feeling apathy or dissatisfaction with life/work
Increased sarcasm/cynicism
Negative attitude towards self and others
Feelings of bitterness/resentment, especially towards those “who need you”
Physical and mental fatigue that doesn’t resolve easily
Increased irritability/moodiness
Emotional outbursts
Difficulty concentrating, foggy headed
Trouble making decisions
Suicidal thoughts
Feelings of hopelessness
Feelings of helplessness
Feeling “numb” to life
Feeling like a failure/self doubt
Lack of motivation
Decrease in being able to experience pleasure
Tension headaches
Stomach aches/abdominal pains
Frequently sick
Changes in eating habits: more/less
Feel like sleeping all the time
Insomnia/not sleeping
Procrastination
Deep sighing
Withdrawing from others
Poor performance
Being late for appointments
Use of substances/pornography to cope
The Way Out of Burnout
I want to be very realistic and honest with you. The way out of burnout takes time. As mentioned earlier it’s not a “quick fix.” A one time vacation isn’t going to reverse deep soul exhaustion. Because burnout happened over time from chronic, long term stress—it takes time to move out of it. What this means is the best way to overcome burnout is to develop life long habits and not to rely on “one time fixes.”
While it’s still good, and I believe, absolutely necessary to take those vacations (relaxing, soul refreshing vacations not exhausting vacations—yes, believe it or not, those exist too!), we need to discuss things that help you develop more of a pattern—a new way of living.
Some of the things that can help are:
Move self care from a once in a while consideration to a “given.”
Routine exercise is helpful to stimulate the body and mind.
Ensure that you develop consistent healthy eating and sleeping habits.
Allow your principles and values to guide what projects you pick up.
Learn to set healthy relational boundaries and boundaries around your time.
Prioritize your health and needs.
Pray about and work towards creating a healthy work/life balance.
Pray about and work towards finding deeper purpose in your daily life.
Actively create and nurture a healthy support system of friends and family.
Learn to ask for help when you feel overwhelmed, better yet, ask before you feel overwhelmed!
If you feel you’re struggling and just can’t see the path out of it, it may be time to speak with a counselor or coach who understands burnout. Remember, there is no shame in asking for help. In fact, it will likely help save you from a longer recovery period in the end!
You are valuable and worthy of living a life of joy and deep fulfillment. God created you for good things, and He would want you to find the abundant joy He speaks of in His word. It is possible to recover from burnout, even learn lessons from it that can help you build a balanced life you can enjoy once you begin taking the steps towards recovery. In essence, don’t give up…there is hope!
(1) Research by Christina Maslach
Darah Ashlie
Hi, I’m Darah! If you’re joining me for the first time, welcome, I’m glad you’re here. I’m an Abuse Recovery Coach as well as a Board Certified Christian Counselor whose passion is to help women go from surviving to thriving. On the blog I share how you can get out of feeling stuck and overwhelmed, relationally and emotionally, and start to live like an overcomer!
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